Hi, My Name Is Luigi And I Am One Of Santa’s Elves.


Here is a short story for Christmas 2012 that I wrote and posted on Blogger. I don’t want to lose it, so I am reposting it here on WordPress. Those of you who haven’t read it, enjoy!

It is that Whimsical and Exciting time of The Year for Kids of All Ages, Christmas

Hi, My Name Is Luigi And I Am One Of Santa’s Elves.

So I thought all of you kiddies might like to hear about my important job working for Santa at the North Pole.

As you know The Land of Christmas and our Good Neighbor Lapland, where Reindeers come from and rest after their very hard job of pulling Santa’s Sleigh with the oodles of Important Toys & Gifts, is a very huge land, with miles & miles of factories and billions of comfy little cottages for the more than a gazillion elves to take their naps and eat all of those cookies Ms. Claus is famous for. Speaking of cookies and Mrs. Claus, only your Mom comes even close to baking goodies like she does.

One usually hears names like Elmo, Janny, Bunle, Spark, Ellie, Bounder, Kallie, Jikney, Blitzie, Baffle, Rando, Purdy, Danno, Abran, Wulkie, Zanzwi, Ripplo, Elisa, Aaron, Roger, Ju-Jube, Francios, Gralofski, and Cotelle for the regular Toymaker Elf.

But there are others who are sort of the boss and include.

Bushy Evergreen, the inventor of the magic toymaking machine.

Shinny Upatree is Father Christmas’s (Santa’s) oldest friend and cofounder of the secret village in The Land of Christmas

Wunorse Openslae designed Father Christmas’s sleigh and maintains it for top performance. (It is believed that the reindeer reach speeds faster than Christmas tree lights.) He also cares for the reindeer.

Pepper Minstix is the guardian of the secret of the location of Father Christmas’s land.

Sugarplum Mary is Head of the Sweat Treats, and assistant to Father Christmas’s wife, Mrs. Claus, also known as Mary Christmas.

Alabaster Snowball is very important. He is the Administrator of the Naughty & Nice list.

The More Famous than me, my Brother Mario, who invents and tests the new Video Games each year.

And then there I am, Luigi, semi-retired now and an elf who recruits new elves.

Others of the gazillions of elves include these from Lapland, home of Santa’s Reindeers.

Askasleikir, Baggalutur, Bitahaengir, Bjalmans barnid, Bjalminn sjalfur,  Bjugnakraekir, Faldafeykir, Frodusleikir, Stekkjarstaur,Gattathefur, Giljagaur, Gluggagaegir, Ketkrokur,  Kertasnikir, Laekjaraegir,  Pottasleikir, Raudur, Redda, Skyrjarmur, Sledda, Steingrimur, Stufur, Syrjusleikir, Thvorusleikir, Tifill, and, Tutur.

Since Santa never fires his elves, lays them off, and never outsources, we need new elves very year because of the growing Christmas Lists from all Boys and Girls. This is now my job, finding elves to take back to The Land of Christmas.

There are some interesting things you might like to know about eves:

1)      Elves also live and work with us in the rest of the world, as Engineers, Mechanics, Machinists, Machine Operators,  Laborers, Technicians, Cooks, Bakers, and Truck Drivers doing everything needed to make Santa’s Toy Factory and Businesses in the rest of the world work and run well like a Swiss made Grandfather’s Clock.

2)      Elves are often called Leprechauns, Midgets, Dwarves, Little People, and sometimes worse by cruel people. But I know all Boys and Girls are not like this and love and look to the dwarves with kindness.

3)      Yes there are Boy and Girl Elves and Baby Elves too.

4)      Elves minds develop more quickly than their bodies; by their first year, they can speak, walk and even dance, and their quicker onset of mental maturity makes young Elves seem, to Men, older than they really are. Adulthood comes in around their fiftieth to one hundredth year (by age fifty they reach their adult height), and by their first hundred years of life after birth Elves are fully grown. Elven bodies eventually stop aging physically, while human bodies do not.

5)      Only another Elf can tell the difference between a Boy and Girl Elf if neither one has a beard.

6)      Elves are very hard workers, but so love to sing, dance, tell jokes, and sometimes play pranks on Santa and Rudolph, all kind and in good taste.

7)      Elves at play: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:%C3%84lvalek.jpg

8)      To be one of Santa’s Elves, one must be a Hard Worker, Jovial, Short (around 4’ 6” is best), have white hair, a white beard for the Boy Elves, love to eat Christmas Goodies year round, a portly tummy for all of those cookies & baked goods, and like to wear  Red & Green Clothing. (A lot like me).

So you can see that elves are almost like a lot of you in what they like and what they like to do.

About 15 years ago and since I managed all of the Natural Gas Fired Boilers, Furnaces, and Ovens needed to make The Land of Christmas chug along smoothly, Santa asked me what I thought about living in the NE USA surrounded by The Great Marcellus and Utica Natural Shale Gas Fields to recruit new elves. Always being ready for a new challenge and knowing that I would find some of the hardest working & most honest people in PA, the land of my roots, I eagerly accepted.

I have had the pleasure of meeting, working, and sharing with so many skilled and diverse folks during the last 10 years back home, and I know that I know The Land of Christmas and The Spirit of Sharing and Love will never die

Merry Christmas, Joyeaux Noel, Happy Holidays, Season’s Greetings, Happy Kwanza,즐거운 휴일 보내세요, Buone Vacanze, สุขสันต์วันหยุด, or in any Language you choose to celebrate the Holiday.

That brings me to part of why I am here and If anyone is interested, please send you resume to Santa at The North Pole.

©Donald L Crusan-05-Dec-2012


I am sorry for the use of all of the Laplander, Icelandic and Norse names of the various elves. But, I am sure that your little ones will have such love and admiration directed to you that any way you do pronounce it would be right. There are many more I found that would be impossible to try and utter, unless one was versed in most of the old and archaic dialects of the past.

If I had another choice of career it just might be that of a storyteller in the likes of Garrison Keillor. Appalachian Born & Bred, I grew up with the tradition of storytelling and the way to get new ideas was honed by a Louisianan Cajun from Cane River Territory and a South Carolina Good Old Boy from The Blue Ridge Mountains.

The idea for this story came a couple of weeks ago while waiting for the operating parameters for a Factory Acceptance Test of Steam Injectors destined for ExxonMobil’s Grassroots EPC Project in Baytown, TX, at a local manufacturer, to be achieved and balanced.  Doing this is akin to watching grass grow and woolgathering passes the time.         

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